We are taught as a child that life is not always fair, that things will not always go our way. However, as we grow into adulthood, it is easy to turn unfair situations into a time of self-pity, or even depression. Thankfully, there is an easy concept to avoid going down this path. Self-Compassion.
We often think of having compassion and gratitude for others but quickly forget the importance of having those same feelings for ourselves. In times of self-pity, it is important to stay positive and assess the situation. Compassion and gratitude are strong tools that can alter our mindset from negative feelings of unhappiness and failure to positive feelings of growth and opportunity.
So the next time something goes wrong, take a step back. Find it in yourself to have compassion for your own life as well as gratitude that something better will come from this. These simple acts will allow you to live better each day.
For more information on avoiding or coping with depression or more tips on self-compassion and gratitude, contact the Healthy Futures team today.
Dr. Kim DiRé: Hello, my name is Dr. Kim DiRé. Today, I’m going to talk to you about self‑pity. I think we all do it. It’s a human thing. At the same time, what do you do when you have it? One of the things that we know about self‑pity is it really leads to a lot of depression and it really doesn’t help us.
A lot of times, life can be really, really unfair. If we start following that path and we start thinking about how unfair it is and we start feeling sorry for ourselves, we really disconnect and isolate ourselves from other people. It doesn’t help because then we remove ourselves from things or the experiences that can move us out of self‑pity.
Something that can help is compassion for ourselves. If something bad happens or it’s unfair, if we could just empathize with ourselves and really have compassion and be gentle on ourselves, it moves us out of self‑pity into something that we can connect with others with, including ourselves.
It can lift depression, as well as another tool by being grateful for what you do have. A lot of times in unfair or adverse situations, it’s actually the friction that moves us to something of growth or something that’s better.
If you can move self‑pity by using two tools, compassion for yourself in something that’s gone wrong and then also gratitude where the friction of something that’s adverse can actually lead to something better.
Try that instead of self‑pity and let’s see how you do. Live that a little bit more in your life and I think you’ll feel that life feels a little better.