Did you know your brain never stops thinking? It is true, however most people do not pay attention to their thoughts on a regular basis. With mindfulness, though, we learn to pay attention to our thoughts and our emotions as well as the way we interpret things.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a great way to help clients cope with different issues. And, at its core is mindfulness, staying present. This is where we can stay focused and control our thoughts and feelings.
When our thoughts go to the future, we often experience greater feelings of anxiety. We play out the what ifs and sometimes imagine the worst. Other times, our thoughts may go to the past to feelings of regret, shame or guilt. Once this type of thinking begins, it’s hard to stop and regain control. So, staying present and in control is where we want to be.
The best way to stay present is by being mindful of our breathing and practicing that in a very specific way. Follow these steps and give it a try.
- Elongate your torso and sit up nice and tall.
- Take the curve out of your spine by tucking your tailbone under.
- Relax your jaw and loosen your tongue.
- On the count of four, breathe in through your nose, expanding the lower abdominal diaphragm.
- Hold four counts.
- Then, gently and steadily exhale all your breath through your mouth for four counts.
The more you practice this mindfulness breathing exercise, the better your body will feel.
Kim R DiRe’ Hello, my name is Kim Lipsman. I’m a mental health therapist that uses Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, to help clients with different issues.
The thing about DBT is that it’s a wonderful skill set for people. The basis, or foundation, that DBT lands on is mindfulness. Mindfulness, in simple terms, is staying present on purpose, staying in the now.
It sounds like such a simple concept, and yet it is one of the hardest things to do. What’s easy for us to do is we move too far in the future which causes a lot of anxiety. Sometimes, just an hour in the future can accelerate that anxiety.
When we move into the past, sometimes shame and guilt comes up. What we want to do is lessen those activating feelings by staying present.
One of the simplest ways to do that is to breathe. If you’ll just do that with me right now, we can practice for one moment in time, mindfulness ‑‑ staying present on purpose. If you’re sitting in a chair watching this, just sit up nice and tall. Take the curve out of your spine by tucking your tailbone under.
Imagine that there’s a string that goes from the ceiling all the way down through your spine, so you have this nice, gentle support without any arches in your back. That way we have this elongated torso, so that the lungs can expand, give us a full range of breath.
Now if you’re standing, it’s easier to do. Then laying down is just the ideal place to do this breathing, Whatever is going to fit for this moment for you. If you can just unlock that jaw and loosen your tongue, we’re going to breathe in through our nose, and we’re going to exhale out through our mouth.
On the count of four, please breathe in through your nose, expanding that lower abdominal diaphragm, a gentle hold, and then release out through your mouth in a gentle, steady stream, your breath.
Make sure all the breath comes out so the next inhalation has a place to go. Inhaling in, two, three, four, a gentle hold, two, three, four, and exhalation, two, three, four. One more time, OK? Inhale in, a gentle expansion of that lower diaphragm, and then exhale out through our loosened jaw, loosened tongue, breath, exhaling all the way out.
I just want you to notice, notice what that was. Notice how your body feels, staying present on purpose. What’s really great with mindfulness, the more you practice, the better you get at it, the better you’ll feel. So, enjoy.
Do you think about gratitude? Gratitude is a powerful emotion for the appreciation of what one has. For some, it may be a healthy baby, a warm, cozy bed, or a good job. We can make lists of the things we are grateful for in our lives. But, why is gratitude so important?
Gratitude can change how you feel. It has an energy that vibrates within you and lifts you up. Inside your body, this energy can take you from feeling worried or bad about something to feeling more optimistic and good. It actually has the power to change the energy in your body.
The next time you feel down, stuck in your life or scared, hold out your hands. Imagine holding something in them for which you are grateful. Then really concentrate on feeling gratitude for it. You’ll soon feel that positive energy vibrate in your body and shift your feelings toward something more positive.
Choose to think about gratitude every day, even when things are difficult. With this daily practice, you’ll soon see your life’s challenges smaller and see more optimism. Give it a try, you’ll be grateful that you did.
Dr. Kim DiRé: Hi, my name is Kim DiRé, and I’m a psychotherapist. One thing that I notice when people get stuck and they’re not able to move, whether they’re feeling good about themselves or they feel stuck in their life goals, is we use gratitude to release that stuck.
People often understand that they do it like, “OK, let’s count our gratitude so make a gratitude list,” but they often don’t know what happens or what the change is that happens for them. Gratitude is an emotion that actually has a vibrational energy that starts to vibrate or lift things.
One of the tools that I use is if you just hold out something that you’re grateful for in your hands and really concentrate or use a meditation or mindfulness with it, perhaps it’s a child that you adore or maybe it’s something you’re grateful for, like the fact that you have a nice, cozy bed to sleep in, is if you just sit and have gratitude for it, you’ll find a vibrational energy that happens. If you take that as a tool or a meditation and bring that gratitude then into your face, you can bring that gratitude in to shift some of the physiology that happens for you when you are down or when you feel stuck or when you feel scared.
Some of those are the things that happen because emotions have an energy. Gratitude is one that is uplifting and one that can change some of the energies that aren’t so helpful or challenging. Next time you feel stuck or down, use gratitude in a way that’s going to be really helpful for you to move forward and feel really hopeful. Thank you.