Advice to your adolescent self

March 26, 2021

Dr. J.R: If I was able to give advice to my adolescent self, I would definitely say that you matter. That anything you’re doing is absolutely what you should be doing, and I’m so proud of you.

It’s okay to not be perfect. I would have loved to hear that back when I was an adolescent. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to get a B on an exam. That would have been awesome.

What I would also tell my adolescent self is you’re going through some very interesting changes right now and you’re feeling like a whole lot of things. You’re feeling things that you’ve never really experienced before and you don’t know if they’re right or wrong, but I’m here to tell you that they’re absolutely right and it’s okay to feel that way.

Dr. Kim: If I were going to tell my adolescent South something, this is what I would tell me.

I only have one body. Sometimes we think well, I got a car and you know, I totaled my first one so I have another one but if I could remind myself that we only have one body to ride around in this life, I would take better care of it. Treat it really really well and that’s the advice. This is the one vehicle to get through life with. Treat it really well.

Ilene: The message to my younger self is that all adversity and challenges can lead to something really positive but you need to pay attention to the messages that are being presented to you.

advice to adolescent self

Jessica: If I could talk to my adolescent self and go back and give them some advice. This is what I would say.

You are not alone. It may feel like that and seem that way sometimes but surround yourself with the people that you know and love. Take every advantage and opportunity that you can and know that it will all come together in the end. Keep going, keep trying and all the pieces come together and make a beautiful puzzle. I promise.

Julia: If I could give advice to my adolescent self. I would say, number one, be a kid allow yourself to be a kid. There’s a lot of years of adulting. So allow yourself to be a teen.

Number two, guard your heart, if someone doesn’t deserve to have it don’t waste time on it. There are lots of other wonderful humans you’ll get to know. Find people that really do have your best interest at heart.

Number three, you still are a kid, so you don’t know everything and take the advice of the adults in your life that do have experience. It’s because they do have some insights that are valuable.

Breecole: If I were talking to my adolescent self, I would tell myself to be present in the moment. Have fun. Enjoy life. Don’t worry too much about what others say, what they are thinking, and how are they are treating you. Worry about yourself in the moment, be present, love yourself, and know that you are loved.

Kelley: If I could give advice to my adolescent self, I think it would be to say that everyone has insecurities and it’s not just you. So don’t worry so much about what you believe to be weaknesses. Just love and embrace your strengths and there’s really no need for insecurity because really, you are perfect just the way you are.

Kim: What I would say to my adolescent self is, Kim. You need to read this quote by Rebecca Campbell every day.

The world is filled with people who no matter what you do, will point blank not like you but it’s also going to be filled with people who love you fiercely they’re your people. You are not for everyone and that’s okay. Talk to the people who can hear you don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value. They won’t ever want what you’re selling and don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you. You politely wave them along and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift don’t cheapen this gift by rolling yours in the wrong direction.

Mia: Hi, I would tell you don’t worry so much. It wasn’t worth the time and heartache. Some anxiety to motivate is really important to meet your goals, that accordingly. To my pre-adolescent self and all the parents, it is normal to gain around 40 pounds. This is the national average in the three main years of puberty.

You are not fat. You did not need to go on a diet. You didn’t deserve to be called names. You are simply growing into a woman and that’s what bodies do and at different times than your friends. Breathe.

It will all turn out okay. Your body knows exactly what to do. Having an eating disorder and going through treatment was necessary to hard. Good for you and your parents for making you do it. It gave you valuable skills to navigate life.

Your friends and family are very important. Keep them along for the ride and go through the necessary conflict and maintenance issues in order to keep relationships in your life. They make life much more meaningful and less lonely.

Have more fun, for real! Put the work down and have fun! Dance more, play as much as you can, fit in along the way, and be curious about things before making any conclusions.

You are only as old as you have ever been. You don’t know more. How would you? It’s fun to be open to seeing what you can learn you are not weak or crazy if you need help.

Help in managing things or just want someone there beside you to reassure you. How are you supposed to know everything anyway? Your teachers and parents and siblings are great and yet they don’t know everything either, they are not perfect. But neither are you.  Give people grace, everyone is doing the best job they can. Your life is not set in stone.

Allow for twists and turns to let go of your tight grip on things. It’s a lot more fun this way. Then you can see what life has in store for you versus trying to control it at every turn recovery’s worth it so worth it.

More on Helping Strategies

girl on the beach
,

A Minute of Mindfulness with Mia – Loving Kindness

Loving-kindness meditations are all about allowing ourselves to have the things like joy and happiness in our life.
advice to adolescent self

Advice to your adolescent self

If I was able to give advice to my adolescent self, this is what I would say.
perspective

A Minute of Mindfulness with Mia – Perspective

Today I thought we'd focus on perspective and the idea of helping us feel better and more mindful is to focus on perspective.
Post traumatic growth

Post traumatic growth and how to benefit from trauma

Trauma doesn't need to be a life sentence. There are benefits to trauma and all of us in this world.
Self care isn't selfish

Self Care is not selfish

I'm encouraging people not to be self-centered but to be selfish in that they are a priority.