Dismissing Judgmental Opinions of Ourselves

A lot of times in DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, we talk about having a nonjudgmental stance, just notice, don’t judge. What happens when others judge us, and they’re not practicing that skill? What do we do?

Have you ever heard that an opinion of another about us is none of our business? That’s the truth. It isn’t any of our business.

How somebody feels about us or thinks about us is their opinion. What matters most is how we feel about ourselves and, if we need to improve something about ourselves, then we have the opportunity to do that.

When we start believing what others make up about us in their opinions, which isn’t fact, then we become imprisoned by pleasing that person, trying to get them to like us, or help them see us in a different way.

What if that other person over there has a different judgment about us, and now we have to move over to that side and help that judgment along? It’s none of our business.

We need to stick to what we know about ourselves, improve what we need about ourselves and, if someone has a judgment about us, we need to stay out of that business. It’s none of ours, and we can’t control it, anyway.